IN THE NURSERY

FATHER,and mother,and brothers,and sisters, were gone to the play; only little Anna and her godfather were left at home.

"We'll have a play too," he said;"and it may be-gin immediately."

"But we have no theatre,"cried little Anna,"and we have no one to act for us: my old doll cannot, for sh is a fright,and my new one cannot,forshe must not rumple her new clothes."

"Onecan always get actors ifonemakes useofwhat one has," observed Godfather.

"Now we build the theatre.Here we will put up a book, there another, and there a third, in a sloping row.Now three on the other side;so,now we have the side-scenes.The old box that lies yonder may be the back- ground;andwe'll turn the bottom outwards.The stage represents a room, as every one may see. Now we want theactors Letusseewhatwe can find in the play-box. First the personages,and then we will get the play ready:oneaftertheother,that willbecapital!Here'sapipe- head, and yonder an odd glove; theywill do verywell forfather and daughter."

"But those are only two characters,"said little An-na."Here's my brother's old waistcoat—could not that play in our piece, too?"

"It's big enough, certainly," replied Godfather.

"It shall be the lover. There' s nothing in the pockets,and that's very interesting, for that's half of an unfortu-nate attachment. And here we have the nut- crackersboots, with spurs to them. Row,dow, dow! howthey can stamp and strut! Theyshall representthe unwelcome woo-er, whom the lady does not like. What kind of play willyou have now? Shall itbea tragedy, or a domestic dra-ma?"

"A domestic drama, please,"saidlittle Anna;"for the others are so fond of that.Do you know one?

"Iknowahundred,"saidGodfather."Thosethatare most in favourarefrom the French, but they are not good forlittlegirls. In themeantime, wemay take oneofthe prettiest, for inside they're all very much alike. Now Ishake the pen! Cock-a-lorum!So now,here's the play, brin-bran-span new! Now listen to the play-bill."

And Godfather took a newspaper, and readas ifhe were reading from it:

THE PIPE- HEAD AND THE GOOD HEAD

A Family Drama in one Act

CHARACTERS

MR. PIPE-HEAD, a father.

MR.WAISTCOAT,a lover.

MISS GLOVE, a daughter.

MR.DE BOOTS, a suitor.

"And now we'regoing to begin. The curtain rises:we have no curtain, so it hasrisen already. All the charac-ters are there, and so we havethem at hand. NowI speakas Papa Pipe-head! he' s angry today. One can see thathe's a coloured meerschaum.

"'Snip-snap-snurre, bassellurre! I'm master in my own house! I'm thefatherof my daughter! Will you hear what Ihave to say?Mr. deBoots is a person in whom one may see one'sface;his upper partisof morocco,and he has spurs into the bargain.Snip-snap-snurre! He shallhave my daughter!"

"Now listen to what theWaistcoat says,littleAnna," saidGodfather."NowtheWaistcoat's speaking.The Waistcoat has a lie-down collar, and is very modest; buthe knows hisown value, and has quite a right to saywhathe says:

"'I haven't a spot onme! Goodness of material oughtto be appreciated. Iam of real silk, and have strings tome.

"'—On the wedding day,but no longer; you don't keepyourcolour in the wash.'This is Mr.Pipe-head who is speaking.'Mr.de Boots is water-tight,ofstrong leather, and yet very delicate; he can creak, and clankwith his spurs,andhasan Italian physiognomy—'"

"Butthey ought to speak in verse,"said Anna,"for I've heard that's the most charming way ofall."

"Theycandothat too,"repliedGodfather;"and as the public demands, so one talks. Just look at little MissGlove, how she's pointing her fingers!

Rather live and wait,

A glove withouta mate!

Ah!

IfIfromhimmustpart,

I'm sure'twill break my heart!

'Bah!'

That last word was spoken by Mr. Pipe-head; andnowit'sMr. Waistcoat's turn:

OGlove,my own dear,

Thoughitcostthee a tear,

Thou must be mine,

For Holger the Dane has sworn it!

"Mr.de Boots, hearing this, kicks up, jingles hisspurs, and knocks down three of the side-scenes."

"That'sexceedinglycharming!" cried little Anna.

"Silence!silence!said Godfather."Silentappro-bation will show that youarethe educated public in the stalls.NowMiss Glove sings her great song withstartling effects:

I cannot talk, heigho!

And thereforeI willcrow!

Kikkeriki, in theloftyhall!

Now comes the exciting part, little Anna.This is themost important in all the play. Mr. Waistcoat undoeshimself, and addresses his speech to you, that you may applaud;but leave italone,—that's consideredmore genteel.

"'Iam driven to extremities!Take care of yourself! Now comes the plot!You arethePipe-head,andIam the good head—snap! There you go!

"Do you notice this, littleAnna?" asked Godfather."That's amost charming scene and comedy. Mr. Waist-coat seized the old Pipe-head,and put him in his pocket;there he lies, and the Waistcoat says:

"'You are in my pocket;youcan't come out tillyou promise to unite me toyour daughter Glove on the left:Ihold out my right hand.'"

"That's awfully pretty,"said little Anna.

"And now the old Pipe-head replies:

My head's in a hum,

So confused I've become;

Where'smy humour?Gone,Ifear,

AndIfeelmyhollowstick'snot here.

Ah! never, my dear,

Did Ifeel so queer.

Oh! take out my head

From your pocket, Ipray;

And my daughterand you

May be married today.

"Isthe play over already?" asked little Anna.

"By nomeans," replied Godfather."It's only allover with Mr. de Boots. Now the lovers kneel down, andone of themsings:

Father!

andtheother,

Take back your head again,

And bless your son and daughter.

Andtheyreceivehisblessing,and celebrate their

wedding, and all the pieces of furniture sing in chorus,

Clink! clanks!

A thousand thands;

And now the play is over!

"And now we'll applaud," said Godfather."We'll

call them all out, and the pieces of furnituretoo, for theyareof mahogany. "

"And is our play just as good as those which the oth-ers have in the real theatre?"

"Our play is much better," saidGodfather,"It is shorter,ithasbeen givenfree, and ithas passed sway the hour before tea-time."

在小宝宝的房间里

 

爸爸、妈妈和兄弟姊妹们都看戏去了。只有小小的安娜和干爸爸在家。

“我们也来看看戏吧!”他说,“而且马上就开始。”

“但是我们没有舞台呀,”小安娜说,“而且还没有人来演呢!我的老木偶不能演,因为他太讨厌了。我的新木偶又不能把她的漂亮新衣服弄皱了。”

“一个人只要把自己的本领使出来,就可以演戏,”干爸爸说。“现在我们来搭一个舞台吧。我们在这边放上一本书,再放上另一本,再加上第三本,成为斜斜的一排,然后在另一边又放三本——这样,我们就可以有侧面布景了!那边的木匣子可以当作背景;我们可以把它的底朝外放。谁都可以看得出来,这个舞台代表一个房间!我们现在只缺少演员了!看看玩具匣子里还有些什么东西!只要把人物安排好,我们就可以演戏了。一个角色配一个角色:这样就成!这是一个烟斗头,那是一只单手套。他们可以扮演父亲和女儿!”

“不过他们只有两个人呀!”小安娜说。“我哥哥的旧马甲还在这里,他可以不可以也参加演出呢?”

“他倒是相当宽大,”干爸爸说。“那么就让他演恋人这个角色吧。他的衣袋里什么东西也没有——这倒是一件蛮有趣的事情,因为恋人的不幸一半是由于衣袋里太空的缘故!这儿还有一个硬果钳的长统靴;上面还有踢马刺呢!达达,得得,砰!他不是跺脚,就是大摇大摆地走路。让他代表一个不受欢迎的求婚者吧,因为小姐并不喜欢他。你觉得我们应该演哪一种戏呢?悲剧呢,还是家庭剧?”

“演一出家庭剧吧!”小安娜说。“大家都喜欢这种戏,你能演一出吗?”

“我能演一百出!”干爸爸说。“最好看的是改编的法国戏,不过小女孩子不适宜看这种戏。当然我们也可以选一出最适宜的戏,因为它们的内容都是差不多的。现在我把袋子摇一摇!撒——撒!崭新的!我们变出一出崭——崭新的戏!请听节目单吧。”

干爸爸拿起一张报纸,好像念着上面的字似的:

烟斗头和“好头”

 

——独幕家庭剧

 

登场人物

烟斗先生:父亲

马甲先生:恋人

手套小姐:女儿

靴子先生:求婚者

“现在我们要开始了!幕启:我们没有幕,所以就算它已经‘启’了吧。一切人物都在场,所以我们就算他们‘登场’了吧。现在我作为烟斗头爸爸讲话。他今天的脾气不好。人们一看就知道,他是一个彩色的海泡石。

“‘哎哎哟,嗨,我是一家的主人!我是我的女儿的爸爸!你要不要听我讲的话!在冯·靴子先生身上,你可以照出你自己的面孔。他的上部是鞣皮,他的下部有踢马刺。哎哎哟,嗨!他要娶我的女儿做太太!’

“小安娜,现在请听听马甲讲的话吧,”干爸爸说。“现在马甲讲话了。马甲有一个朝下翻的领子,所以他是非常谦虚的。但是他知道他的价值,同时也有权利讲他所要讲的话:

“‘我身上没有一点污点!良好的质地应该引起人的重视。我是真丝做的,而且我身上还有带子。’

“‘只有结婚的那天是这样,不能持久。你的颜色一洗就退了!’这是烟斗头先生在讲活。‘冯·靴子先生有坚韧的皮,水浸不透,但同时又非常柔嫩。他能发出格格的声音,他的踢马刺还发出铿锵的音调。他有意大利人的那种相貌。’”

“不过他们应该用诗讲话才对呀!”小安娜说,“因为只有这样才算是美丽的讲法。”

“这样也行!”干爸爸说。“观众要求怎样讲,演员就得怎样讲!请看小小的手套姑娘吧,请看她伸着手指的那副样儿吧:

一个手套没有配偶, 只好天天坐着等候!

唉!

这真叫我忍受不了, 我想我的皮要裂掉——

嗨!

“最后这个‘嗨’是烟斗头爸爸讲出来的。现在轮到马甲先生讲了:

亲爱的手套姑娘呀!

固然你来自西班牙, 你还是应该嫁给我!

这是丹麦人荷尔格的话。

“冯·靴子先生大步地走进来了,把他的踢马刺弄得琅琅地响,一脚把那三个侧面背景踢翻了。”

“这真是好玩极了!”小安娜说。

“不要做声!不要做声!”干爸爸说。“赞赏而不发出声音,说明你是头等席位中有教养的看客。现在手套小姐要用颤音唱一曲伟大的歌了:

我讲不出一个道理, 只好学做鸡啼:

喔喔喔——在高大的客厅里!

“小安娜,最动人的场面现在要开演了!这是整个戏中最重要的一段。你看,马甲先生解开扣子了;他要面对着你作一番道白,好叫你为他鼓掌。但是你不要理他——这是顶文雅的表示。听吧,你听他的绸子发出的声音:

“‘你逼得我走向极端!请你当心!现在请看我的办法吧!你是一个烟斗头,我是一个“好头”——呸,滚你的蛋吧!’

“小安娜,你看到没有?”干爸爸说。“这是最好玩的一幕喜剧:马甲先生一把抓住这个老烟斗头,把它塞进自己的口袋里去。他待在那里面,于是马甲就说:

“‘现在你在我的衣袋里,在我的深衣袋里!你永远也跑不出来,除非你答应我跟你的女儿——左手的手套小姐——结为夫妇。现在我伸出右手来!”

“这真是可爱极了!”小安娜说。

“于是老烟斗头回答说:

我的头脑很混乱!

不像以前那样新鲜。

我的好心情忽然不见, 我觉得我失去了烟杆。

嗨,我过去从来不是这样——

心里怎么会变得这样慌张?

啊,请把我的头从你的袋里取出来, 你只可以在这时候跟我的女儿恋爱!”

“戏已经演完了吗?”小安娜问。

“还早得很!”干爸爸说。“只是靴子先生这个角色完了。现在这对情人双双跪下来。

他们有一位唱道:

爸爸!

“另一位又唱:

请把您的头脑理一理, 来祝福你的女儿和女婿。

“他们得到他的祝福,他们结了婚。所有的家具都合唱起来:

叮叮!当当!

多谢各位!

戏已经终场!

“现在我们来鼓掌吧!”干爸爸说。“我们来请他们谢幕——也请这些家具来一起谢幕吧,因为他们都是桃花心木做的呀!”

“我们的戏是不是跟别人在真舞台上演的一样好?”

“我们的戏演得好多了!”干爸爸说。“它不长,而且不花钱就可以看到,同时又可以把吃茶以前的那段时间消磨过去。”

这是一篇很有风趣的小品,发表在1865年出版的《新的童话和故事集》第2卷第3部里。它代表安徒生对于当时一些戏剧演出的善意讽刺:“我们的戏演得好多了。它不长,而且不花钱就可以看到,同时又可以把吃茶以前的那段时间消磨过去。”它是作者1865年夏天在佛里生城堡写成的,最初的篇名是《一出完善的戏》,发表时为了减少刺激性,改成现名。