Chapter 33
On the morrow of that Monday, Earnshaw being still unable to follow his ordinary employments, and therefore remaining about the house, I speedily found it would be impracticable to retain my charge beside me, as heretofore. She got downstairs before me, and out into the garden, where she had seen her cousin performing some easy work; and when I went to bid them come to breakfast, I saw she had persuaded him to clear a large space of ground from currant and gooseberry bushes, and they were busy planning together an importation of plants from the Grange.
I was terrified at the devastation which had been accomplished in a brief half-hour; the black-currant trees were the apple of Joseph's eye, and she had just fixed her choice of a flower bed in the midst of them.
`There! That will be all shown to the master,' I exclaimed, `the minute it is discovered. And what excuse have you to offer for taking such liberties with the garden? `We shall have a fine explosion on the head of it: see if we don't! Mr Hareton, I wonder you should have no more wit, than to go and make that mess at her bidding!'
`I'd forgotten they were Joseph's,' answered Earnshaw, rather puzzled; `but I'll tell him I did it.'
`We always ate our meals with Mr Heathcliff. I held the mistress's post in making tea and carving; so I was indispensable at table. Catherine usually sat by me, but today she stole nearer to Hareton; and I presently saw she would have no more discretion in her friendship than she had in her hostility.
`Now, mind you don't talk with and notice your cousin too much,' were my whispered instructions as we entered the room. `It will certainly annoy Mr Heathcliff, and he'll be mad at you both.'
`I'm not going to,' she answered.
The minute after, she had sidled to him, and was sticking primroses in his plate of porridge.
He dared not speak to her there: he dared hardly look; and yet she went on teasing, till he was twice on the point of being provoked to laugh; and I frowned, and then she glanced towards the master: whose mind was occupied on other subjects than his company, as his countenance evinced; and she grew serious for an instant, scrutinizing him with deep gravity. Afterwards she turned, and recommenced her nonsense; at last, Hareton uttered a smothered laugh. Mr Heathcliff started; his eye rapidly surveyed our faces. Catherine met it with her accustomed look of nervousness and yet defiance, which he abhorred.
`It is well you are out of my reach,' he exclaimed. "What fiend possesses you to stare back at me, continually, with those infernal eyes? Down with them! and don't remind me of your existence again. I thought I had cured you of laughing.'
`It was me,' muttered Hareton. "What do you say?' demanded the master.
Hareton looked at his plate, and did not repeat the confession. Mr Heathcliff looked at him a bit, and then silently resumed his breakfast and his interrupted musing. `We had nearly finished, and the two young people prudently shifted wider asunder, so I anticipated no further disturbance during that sitting: when Joseph appeared at the door, revealing by his quivering lip and furious eyes, that the outrage committed on his precious shrubs was detected. He must have seen Cathy and her cousin about the spot before he examined it, for while his jaws worked like those of a cow chewing its cud, and rendered his speech difficult to understand, he began:
`Aw mun hev my wage, and Aw mun goa! Aw bed aimed tuh dee, wheare Aw'd sarved fur sixty year; `un Aw thowt Aw'd lug my books up intuh t' garret, un' all my bits uh stuff, un' they sud hev t' kitchen tuh theirseln; fur t' sake uh quietness. It wur hard tuh gie up my awn hearthstun, bud Aw thowt Aw could do that! Bud, nah, shoo's taan my garden frough me, un' by th' heart, maister, Aw cannot stand it! Yah muh bend tuh th' yoak, an ye will Aw noan used to `t, and an ow'd man dosen't sooin get used tuh new barthens. Aw'd rayther arn my bite an' my sup wi' a hammer in th' road!'
`Now, now, idiot!' interrupted Heathcliff, `cut it short! `What's your grievance? I'll interfere in no quarrels between you and Nelly. She may thrust you into the coal-hole for anything I care.'
`It's noan Nelly!' answered Joseph. `Aw sudn't shift fur Nellie--nasty ill nowt as shoo is. Thank God! shoo cannot stale t' sowl o' nob'dy! Shoo wer niver soa handsome, bud whet a body mud look at her `baht winking. It's yon flaysome, graceless quean, ut s witched ahr lad, wi' her bold een un' her forrard ways--till--Nay! it fair brusts my heart! He's forgetten all Ee done for him, un' made on him, un' goan un' riven up a whole row ut t' grandest currant trees, i' t' garden!' And here he lamented outright; unmanned by a sense of his bitter injuries, and Earnshaw's ingratitude and dangerous condition.
`Is the fool drunk?' asked Mr Heathcliff. `Hareton, is it you he's finding fault with?'
`I've pulled up two or three bushes,' replied the young man; `but I'm going to set `em again.'
`And why have you pulled them up?' said the master. Catherine unwisely put in her tongue.
"We wanted to plant some flowers there,' she cried. `I'm the only person to blame, for I wished him to do it.'
`And who the devil gave you leave to touch a stick about the place?' demanded her father-in-law, much surprised. `And who ordered you to obey her?' he added, turning to Hareton.
The latter was speechless; his cousin replied:
`You shouldn't grudge a few yards of earth for me to ornament, when you have taken all my land!'
`Your land, insolent slut! You never had any,' said Heathcliff.
`And my money,' she continued; returning his angry glare, and meantime biting a piece of crust, the remnant of her breakfast.
`Silence!' he exclaimed. `Get done, and begone!'
`And Hareton's land, and his money,' pursued the reckless thing. `Hareton and I are friends now; and I shall tell him all about you!'
The master seemed confounded a moment: he grew pale, and rose up, eyeing her all the while, with an expression of mortal hate.
`If you strike me, Hareton will strike you,' she said; `so you may as well sit down.'
`If Hareton does not turn you out of the room, I'll strike him to hell,' thundered Heathcliff. `Damnable witch! dare you pretend to rouse him against me? Off with her! Do you hear? Fling her into the kitchen! I'll kill her, Ellen Dean, if you let her come into my sight again!'
Hareton tried, under his breath, to persuade her to go.
`Drag her away!' he cried savagely. `Are you staying to talk?' And he approached to execute his own command.
`He'll not obey you, wicked man, any more,' said Catherine; `and he'll soon detest you as much as I do.'
"Wisht! wisht!' muttered the young man reproachfully. `I will not hear you speak so to him. Have done.'
`But you won't let him strike me?' she cried. `Come, then,' he whispered earnestly. It was too late: Heathcliff had caught hold of her.
`Now you go!' he said to Earnshaw. `Accursed witch! this time she has provoked me when I could not bear it; and I'll make her repent it for ever!'
He had his hand in her hair; Hareton attempted to release the locks, entreating him not to hurt her that once. Heathcliff's black eyes flashed; he seemed ready to tear Catherine in pieces, and I was just worked up to risk coming to the rescue, when of a sudden his fingers relaxed; he shifted his grasp from her head to her arm, and gazed intently in her face. Then he drew his hand over his eyes, stood a moment to collect himself apparently, and turning anew to Catherine, said with assumed calmness: `You must learn to avoid putting me in a passion, or I shall really murder you some time! Go with Mrs Dean, and keep with her; and confine your insolence to her ears. As to Hareton Earnshaw, if I see him listen to you, I'll send him seeking his bread where he can get it! Your love will make him an outcast and a beggar. Nelly, take her; and leave me all of you! Leave me!'
I led my young lady out: she was too glad of her escape to resist; the other followed, and Mr Heathcliff had the room to himself till dinner. I had counselled Catherine to get hers upstairs; but, as soon as he perceived her vacant seat, he sent me to call her. He spoke to none of us, ate very little, and went out directly afterwards, intimating that he should not return before evening.
The two new friends established themselves in the house during his absence; when I heard Hareton sternly check his cousin, on her offering a revelation of her father-in-law's conduct to his father. He said he wouldn't suffer a word to be uttered to him, in his disparagement: if he were the devil, it didn't signify: he would stand by him; and he'd rather she would abuse himself, as she used to, than begin on Mr Heathcliff. Catherine was waxing cross at this; but he found means to make her hold her tongue, by asking how she would like him to speak ill of her father? and then she comprehended that Earnshaw took the master's reputation home to himself; and was attached by ties stronger than reason could break--chains, forged by habit, which it would be cruel to attempt to loosen. She showed a good heart, thenceforth, in avoiding both complaints and expressions of antipathy concerning Heathcliff; and confessed to me her sorrow that she had endeavoured to raise a bad spirit between him and Hareton: indeed, I don't believe she has ever breathed a syllable, in the latter's hearing, against her oppressor since.
`When this slight disagreement was over, they were thick again, and as busy as possible in their several occupations of pupil and teacher. I came in to sit with them, after I had done my work; and I felt so soothed and comforted to watch them, that I did not notice how time got on. You know, they both appeared in a measure my children: I had long been proud of one; and now, I was sure, the other would be a source of equal satisfaction. His honest, warm, and intelligent nature shook off rapidly the clouds of ignorance and degradation in which it had been bred; and Catherine's sincere commendations acted as a spur to his industry. His brightening mind brightened his features, and added spirit and nobility to their aspect: I could hardly fancy it the same individual I had beheld on the day I discovered my little lady at `Wuthering Heights, after her expedition to the Crags. `While I admired and they laboured, dusk grew on, and with it returned the master. He came upon us quite unexpectedly, entering by the front way, and had a full view of the whole three, ere we could raise our heads to glance at him. Well, I reflected, there was never a pleasanter, or more harmless sight; and it will be a burning shame to scold them. The red firelight glowed on their two bonny heads, and revealed their faces animated with the eager interest of children; for,--though he was twenty-three and she eighteen, each had so much of novelty to feel and learn, that neither experienced nor evinced the sentiments of sober disenchanted maturity.
They lifted their eyes together, to encounter Mr Heathcliff: perhaps you have never remarked that their eyes are precisely similar, and they are those of Catherine Earnshaw. The present Catherine has no other likeness to her, except a breadth of forehead, and a certain arch of the nostril that makes her appear rather haughty, whether she will or not. `With Hareton the resemblance is carried further: it is singular at all times, then it was particularly striking; because his senses were alert, and his mental faculties wakened to unwonted activity. I suppose this resemblance disarmed Mr Heathcliff: he walked to the hearth in evident agitation; but it quickly subsided as he looked at the young man: or, I should say, altered its character; for it was there yet. He took the book from his hand, and glanced at the open page, then returned it without any observation; merely signing Catherine away: her companion lingered very little behind her, and I was about to depart also, but he bid me sit still.
`It is a poor conclusion, is it not?' he observed, having brooded a while on the scene he had just witnessed: `an absurd termination to my violent exertions? I get levers and mattocks to demolish the two houses, and train myself to be capable of working like Hercules, and when everything is ready and in my power, I find the will to lift a slate off either roof has vanished! My old enemies have not beaten me; now would be the precise time to revenge myself on their representatives: I could do it; and none could hinder me. But where is the use? I don't care for striking; I can't take the trouble to raise my hand! That sounds as if I had been labouring the whole time only to exhibit a fine trait of magnanimity. It is far from being the case: I have lost the faculty of enjoying their destruction, and I am too idle to destroy for nothing.
`Nelly, there is a strange change approaching: I'm in its shadow at present. I take so little interest in my daily life, that I hardly remember to eat and drink. Those two who have left the room are the only objects which retain a distinct material appearance to me; and that appearance causes me pain, amounting to agony. About her I won't speak; and I don't desire to think; but I earnestly wish she were invisible: her presence invokes only maddening sensations. He moves me differently: and yet if I could do it without seeming insane, I'd never see him again. You'll perhaps think me rather inclined to become so,' he added, making an effort to smile, `if I try to describe the thousand forms of past associations and ideas he awakens or embodies. But you'll not talk of what I tell you; and my mind is so eternally secluded in itself, it is tempting at last to turn it out to another.
`Five minutes ago, Hareton seemed a personification of my youth, not a human being: I felt to him in such a variety of ways, that it would have been impossible to have accosted him rationally. In the first place, his startling likeness to Catherine connected him fearfully with her. That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination, is actually the least: for what is not connected with her to me? and what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped in the flags! In every cloud, in every tree--filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day--I am surrounded with her image! The most ordinary faces of men and women--my own features--mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her! Well, Hareton's aspect was the ghost of my immortal love; of my wild endeavours to hold my right; my degradation, my pride, my happiness, and my anguish:
`But it is frenzy to repeat these thoughts to you: only it will let you know why, with a reluctance to be always alone, his society is no benefit; rather an aggravation of the constant torment I suffer; and it partly contributes to render me regardless how he and his cousin go on together. I can give them no attention, any more.
`But what do you mean by a change, Mr Heathcliff?' I said, alarmed at his manner: though he was neither in danger of losing his senses, nor dying, according to my judgment; he was quite strong and healthy: and, as to his reason, from childhood he had a delight in dwelling on dark things, and entertaining odd fancies. He might have had a monomania on the subject of his departed idol; but on every other point his wits were as sound as mine.
`I shall not know that till it comes,' he said, `I'm only half conscious of it now.
`You have no feelings of illness, have you?' I asked.
`No, Nelly, I have not,' he answered.
`Then you are not afraid of death?' I pursued.
`Afraid? No!' he replied. `I have neither a fear, nor a presentiment, nor a hope of death. Why should I? `With my hard constitution and temperate mode of living, and unperilous occupations, I ought to, and probably shall, remain above ground till there is scarcely a black hair on my head. And yet I cannot continue in this condition! I have to remind myself to breathe--almost to remind my heart to beat! And it is like bending back a stiff spring; it is by compulsion that I do the slightest act not prompted by one thought; and by compulsion that I notice anything alive or dead, which is not associated with one universal idea. I have a single wish, and my whole being and faculties are yearning to attain It. They have yearned towards it so long, and so unwaveringly, that I'm convinced it will be reached--and soon--because it has devoured my existence: I am swallowed up in the anticipation of its fulfilment. My confessions have not relieved me; but they may account for some otherwise unaccountable phases of humour which I show. O God! It is a long fight, I wish it were over!'
He began to pace the room, muttering terrible things to himself, till I was inclined to believe, as he said Joseph did, that conscience had turned his heart to an earthly hell. I wondered greatly how it would end. Though he seldom before had revealed this state of mind, even by looks, it was his habitual mood, I had no doubt: he asserted it himself; but not a soul, from his general bearing, would have conjectured the fact. You did not when you saw him, Mr Lockwood: and at the period of which I speak he was just the same as then; only fonder of continued solitude, and perhaps still more laconic in company.
那个星期一之后，恩萧仍然不能去作他的日常工作，因此就逗留在屋里，我很快地发觉要像以前那样担任照顾我身边的小姐之责，是行不通的了。她比我先下楼，并且跑到花园里去，她曾看见过她表哥在那儿干些轻便活；当我去叫他们来吃早点的时候，我看见她已经说服他在醋栗和草莓的树丛里清出一大片空地。他们正一起忙着栽下从田庄移来的植物。
在短短的半小时之内竟完成这样的大破坏把我吓坏了；这些黑醋栗树是约瑟夫的宝贝，她偏偏在这些树当中选了布置她的花圃的地方。
“好呀！这种事只要一被发觉，”我叫，“那可全要给主人发现了。你们这样自由处理花园有什么借口呢？事到临头，我们可要有场热闹了：没有才怪呢，哈里顿先生，我不懂你怎么这样糊涂，竟听她的吩咐胡闹！”
“我忘记这是约瑟夫的了，”恩萧回答，有点吓呆了，“可是我要告诉他是我搞的。”
我们总是和希刺克厉夫先生一道吃饭的。我代替女主人，做倒茶切肉的事。所以在饭桌上是缺不了我的。凯瑟琳通常坐在我旁边，但是今天她却偷偷地靠近哈里顿些；我立刻看出她在友谊上比以前在敌对关系上还更不慎重。
“现在，你可记住别跟你表哥多说话，也别太注意他，”这就是在我们进屋时我低声的指示。“那一定会把希刺克厉夫先生惹烦了的，他就会跟你们俩发火的。”
“我才不会呢，”她回答。
过了一分钟，她侧身挨近他，并且在他的粥盆里插些樱草。
他不敢在那儿跟她说话——他简直不敢望她；可她仍逗他，弄得他有两次差点笑出来。我皱皱眉，然后她向主人溜了一眼，主人心里正在想着别的事，没注意到和他在一起的人，这是从他的脸上看得出来的；她一下子严肃起来，十分认真严肃地端详着他。这以后她转过脸来，又开始她的胡闹；终于，哈里顿发出一声压制的笑声。希刺克厉夫一惊；他的眼睛很快地把我们的脸扫视一遍。凯瑟琳以她习惯的神经质的却又是轻蔑的表情回望他，这是他最憎厌的。
“幸亏我够不到你，”他叫。“你中了什么魔了，总是不停地用那对凶眼睛瞪我？垂下眼皮！不要再提醒我还有你存在。
我还以为我已经治好你的笑了。”
“是我，”哈里顿喃喃地说。
“你说什么？”主人问。
哈里顿望着他的盘子，没有再重复这话，希刺克厉夫先生看他一下，然后沉默地继续吃他的早餐，想他那被打断了的心思。我们都快吃完了，这两个年轻人也谨慎地挪开一点，所以我料想那当儿不会再有什么乱子。这时约瑟夫却在门口出现了，他那哆嗦的嘴唇和冒火的眼睛显出他已经发现他那宝贝的树丛受到劫掠了。他在检查那地方以前一定是看见过凯蒂和她表哥在那儿的，因为这时他的下巴动得像牛在反刍一样，而且把他的话说得很难听懂，他开始说：
“给我工钱，我非走不可；我本打算就死在我侍候了六十年的地方；我心想我已经把我的书和我所有的零碎搬到阁楼上去，把厨房让给他们；就为的是图个安静，撂下我自己的炉边本来很难，可我想我也办得到，可是，她把我的花园也给拿去啦，凭良心呀！老爷，我可受不了啦，你可以随便受屈——我可不惯；一个老头儿可不能一下子习惯这些个新麻烦。我宁可拿个鎯头到马路上去混饭吃！”
“喂，喂，呆子！”希刺克厉夫打断他说，“说干脆点！你怨什么？你要是和耐莉吵架，我可不管，她尽可以把你丢到煤洞里去，我才不管呢。”
“没有耐莉的事！”约瑟夫回答，“我不会为了耐莉走掉——她现在也挺糟糕。谢谢老天爷！她可不能偷走任何人的魂！她从来也没有怎么漂亮过，谁要瞧她都只能眨眼睛。那是你那调皮的、无礼的皇后，用她那胆大的眼睛和她那一贯任性的办法迷住了我们的孩子——直到——不！简直伤透了我的心啦！他全忘了我为他作过的事，和我对他的照顾，竟在花园里拔去了一整排最好的黑醋栗树！”说到这里，他放声悲泣；他所感到的委屈，加上恩萧的忘恩负义及其处境危险的感觉使他连一点男子汉气概都没了。
“这呆子是喝醉了吗？”希刺克厉夫先生问。“哈里顿，他是不是在跟你找碴？”
“我拔掉两三棵树，”那年轻人回答，“可是我是要把它们栽上的。”
“你为什么要拔掉它们呢？”主人说。
凯瑟琳聪明地插了嘴。
“我们想在那里种点花。”她喊着。“就怪我一个人吧，因为是我要他拔的。”
“哪个鬼允许你动那地方一根树枝的？”她的公公问。十分惊讶。“又是谁叫你去服从她呢？”她又转过身对哈里顿说。
后者无言可对；他的表妹回答——
“你不该吝惜几码地给我美化一下，你已经占有了我所有的土地！”
“你的土地，你这傲慢的贱人！你从来没有什么土地！”希刺克厉夫说。
“还有我的钱，”她接着说，回瞪他，同时啮着她早餐吃剩的一片面包皮。
“住口——”他叫，“吃完了，滚开！”
“还有哈里顿的土地和他的钱。”那胡闹的东西紧跟着说。
“现在哈里顿和我是朋友啦，我要把你的事都告诉他！”
主人仿佛愣了一下。他变得苍白了，站起来，一直望着她，带着一种不共戴天的憎恨的表情。
“如果你打我，哈里顿就要打你，”她说，“所以你还是坐下来吧。”
“如果哈里顿不能把你撵出这间屋子，我要把他打到地狱里去，”希刺克厉夫大发雷霆。“该死的妖精！你竟找借口挑动他来反对我？让她滚！你听见了吗？把她扔到厨房里去！丁艾伦，要是你再让我看见她，我就要杀死她！”
哈里顿低声下气地想劝她走开。
“把她拖走！”他狂野地大叫。“你还要呆在这儿谈天吗？”
他走近来执行他自己的命令。
“他不会服从你的，恶毒的人，再也不会啦！”凯瑟琳说，“不久他将要像我一样地痛恨你。”
“嘘！嘘！”那年轻人责备地喃喃着，“我不要听你这样对他说话。算了吧。”
“可你总不会让他打我吧。”她叫。
“算了，别说啦！”他急切地低声说。
太迟了。希刺克厉夫已经抓住了她。
“现在，你走开！”他对恩萧说。”该诅咒的妖精！这回她把我惹得受不了啦，我要让她永远后悔！”
他揪住她的头发。哈里顿企图把她的卷发从他手中放开，求他饶她这一回。希刺克厉夫的黑眼睛冒出火光来。他仿佛打算把凯瑟琳撕得粉碎；我刚刚鼓起勇气去冒险解救，忽然间他的手指松开了；他的手从她头上移到她肩膀上，注意地凝视着她的脸。然后他用手捂着他的眼睛，站了一会，显然是要镇定他自己，又重新转过脸来对着凯瑟琳，勉强平静地说——“你必须学着别让我大发脾气，不然总有一天我真的会把你杀死的！跟丁太太去吧，跟她呆在一起，把你傲慢的话都说给她听吧。至于哈里顿·恩萧，如果我看见他听你的，我就要赶走他，让他自己在外边混饭吃！你的爱情将使他成为一个流浪汉和一个乞丐。耐莉，把她带走；躲开我，你们所有的人！躲开我！”
我把我的小姐带了出去。她能逃掉使她高兴得很，也不想反抗了；那一个也跟着出来，希刺克厉夫先生自己一直待到吃午饭的时候。我已经劝凯瑟琳在楼上吃饭，可是，他一看见她的空座位，就叫我去找她。他没对我们任何人说话，吃得很少，以后就径直出去，表示他在晚上以前是不会回来的。
这两个新朋友在他不在时就占据了大厅；在那儿我听见哈里顿严肃地阻止他的表妹揭露她公公对他父亲的行为。他说他不愿意忍受诽谤希刺克厉夫一个字；即使他是魔鬼，那也无所谓，他还是站在他一边的；他宁可像往常那样地让她骂自己一顿，也不会对希刺克厉夫先生挑衅，凯瑟琳对这番话有点烦恼；可是他却有办法使她闭嘴，他问凯瑟琳要是他也说她父亲的坏话，她是否会喜欢呢？这样她才理解到恩萧是把主人的名誉看得和他自己的一样；他们之间的关系不是理智能打断的——是锁链，用习惯铸成的，拆开它未免残忍。从那时起她表现出好心肠来，对于希刺克厉夫避免说抱怨和反对的话；也对我承认她很抱歉，因为她曾尝试在他和哈里顿之间煽起不和来。的确，我相信她这以后一直没有当着哈里顿的面吐出一个字来反对她的暴君。
这场轻微的不和过去后，他们又亲密起来，并且在他们又是学生又是老师的各种工作上忙得不可开交。等我作完我的事，进去和他们坐在一起；我望着他们，觉得定心和安慰，而使我竟然没有注意时间是怎么过去的。你知道，他们俩多少有几分都像是我的孩子：我对于其中的一个早就很得意；而现在，我敢说，另一个也会使我同样满意的。他那诚实的、温和的、懂事的天性很快地摆脱了自小沾染的愚昧与堕落的困境；凯瑟琳的真挚的称赞对于他的勤勉成为一种鼓舞。他头脑中思想开朗也使他的面貌添了光彩，在神色上加上了气魄和高贵，我都难以想像这个人就是在凯瑟琳到山岩探险以后，我发现我的小姐已到了呼啸山庄的那天所见到的那同一个人。在我赞赏着他们，他们还在用功的当儿，暮色渐深了，主人随着也回来了。他相当出乎我们意料地来到我们跟前，是从前门进来的，我们还没来得及抬头望他，他已经完全看到我们三个人了。嗯，我想没有比当时的情景更为愉快，或者是更为无害的了；要责骂他们将是一个奇耻大辱，红红的炉火照在他们两人的漂亮的头上，显出他们那由于孩子气的热烈兴趣而朝气蓬勃的脸。因为，虽然他二十三岁，她十八岁，但他们都还有很多新鲜事物要去感受与学习，两人都没有体验过或是表示过冷静清醒的成熟情感。
他们一起抬起眼睛望望希刺克厉夫先生。也许你从来没有注意过他们的眼睛十分相像，都是凯瑟琳·恩萧的眼睛。现在的凯瑟琳没有别的地方像她，除了宽额和有点拱起的翘鼻子，这使她显得简直有点高傲，不管她本心是不是要这样。至于哈里顿，那份模样就更进一步相似：这在任何时候都是显著的，这时更特别显著；因为他的感觉正锐敏，他的智力正在觉醒到非常活跃的地步。我猜想这种相像使希刺克厉夫缓和了：他显然很激动地走到炉边；但是在他望望那年轻人时，那激动很快地消失了：或者，我可以说，它变了性质，因为那份激动还是存在的。他从哈里顿的手中拿起那本书，瞅瞅那打开的一页，然后没说一句话就还给他，只做手势叫凯瑟琳走开。她的伴侣在她走后也没有待多久；我也正要走开，但是他叫我仍然坐着别动。
“这是一个很糟糕的结局，是不是？”他对他刚刚目睹的情景沉思了一刻之后说：“对于我所作的那些残暴行为，这不是一个滑稽的结局吗？我用撬杆和锄头来毁灭这两所房子，并且把我自己训练得能像赫库里斯一样的工作，等到一切都准备好，并且是在我权力之中了，我却发现掀起任何一所房子的一片瓦的意志都已经消失了！我旧日的敌人并不曾打败我；现在正是我向他们的代表人报仇的时候：我可以这样作；没有人能阻拦我。可是有什么用呢？我不想打人；我连抬手都嫌麻烦！好像是我苦了一辈子只是要显一下宽宏大量似的。不是这么回事：我已经失掉了欣赏他们毁灭的能力，而我太懒得去做无谓的破坏了。
“耐莉，有一个奇异的变化临近了；目前我正在它的阴影里。我对我的日常生活如此不感兴趣，以至于我都不大记得吃喝的事。刚刚出这间屋子的那两个人，对我来说，是唯一的还保留着清晰的实质形象的东西；那形象使我痛苦，甚至伤心。关于她我不想说什么；我也不愿想，可是我热切地希望她不露面。她的存在只能引起使人发疯的感觉。他给我的感受就不同了；可是如果我能作得不像是有精神病的样子，我就情愿永远不再见他！如果我试试描绘他所唤醒的或是体现的千百种过去的联想和想法，你也许以为我简直有精神失常的倾向吧，”他又说，勉强微笑着，“但是我所告诉你的，你不要说出去：我的心一直是这样的隐蔽着，到末了它却不得不向另外一个人敞开来。
“五分钟以前，哈里顿仿佛是我的青春的一个化身，而不是一个人，他给我许多各种各样的感觉，以至于不可能理性地对待他。
“首先，他和凯瑟琳的惊人的相像竟使他和她联在一起了。你也许以为那最足以引起我的想像力的一点，实际上却是最不足道的；因为对于我来说，哪一样不是和她有联系的呢？哪一样不使我回忆起她来呢：我一低头看这间屋里的地面，就不能不看见她的面貌在石板中间出现！在每一朵云里，每一棵树上——在夜里充满在空中，在白天从每一件东西上都看得见——我是被她的形象围绕着！最平常的男人和女人的脸——连我自己的脸——都像她，都在嘲笑我。整个世界成了一个惊人的纪念品汇集，处处提醒着我她是存在过，而我已失去了她！
“是的，哈里顿的模样是我那不朽的爱情的幻影；也是我想保持我的权力的那些疯狂的努力，我的堕落，我的骄傲，我的幸福，以及我的悲痛的幻影——
“但把这些想法反复说给你听也是发疯：不过这会让你知道为什么，我并不情愿永远孤独，有他陪伴却又毫无益处：简直加重了我所忍受的不断的折磨：这也多少使我不管他和他的表妹以后怎么相处。我不能再注意他们了。”
“可是你所谓的一个变化是什么呢，希刺克厉夫先生？”我说，他的态度把我吓着了；虽然他并不像有精神错乱的危险，也不会死。据我判断，他挺健壮；至于他的理性，从童年起他就喜欢思索一些不可思议的事，尽是古怪的幻想。他也许对他那死去的偶像有点偏执狂；可是在其他方面，他的头脑是跟我一样地健全的。
“在它来到之前，我也不会知道，”他说，“现在我只是隐约地意识到而已。”
“你没有感到生病吧，你病了吗？”我问。
“没有，耐莉，我没有病，”他回答。
“那么你不是怕死吧？”我又追问。
“怕死？不！”他回答。“我对死没有恐惧，也没有预感，也没有巴望着死。我为什么要有呢？有我这结实的体格，有节制的生活方式，和不冒险的工作，我应该，大概也会，留在地面上直等到我头上找不出一根黑发来。可我不能让这种情况继续下去！我得提醒我自己要呼吸——几乎都要提醒我的心跳动！这就是像把一根硬弹簧扳弯似的；只要不是由那个思想指点的行动，即使是最微不足道的行动，也是被迫而作出来的；对于任何活的或死的东西，只要不是和那一个无所不在的思想有联系，我也是被迫而注意的。我只有一个愿望，我整个的身心和能力都渴望着达到那个愿望，渴望了这么久，这么不动摇，以至于我都确信必然可以达到——而且不久——因为这愿望已经毁了我的生存：我已经在那即将实现的预感中消耗殆尽了。我的自白并不能使我轻松；可是这些话可以说明我所表现的情绪，不如此是无法说明的。啊，上帝！这是一个漫长的搏斗；我希望它快过去吧！”
他开始在屋里走来走去，自己咕噜着一些可怕的话，这使我渐渐相信（他说约瑟夫也相信），良心使他的心变成人间地狱。我非常奇怪这将如何结束。虽然他以前很少显露出这种心境，甚至神色上也不露出来，但他平常的心情一定就是这样，我是不存怀疑的。他自己也承认了；但是从他一般的外表上看来，没有一个人会猜测到这事实。洛克乌德先生，当你初见他时，你也没想到，就在我说到的这个时期，他也还是和从前一样，只是更喜欢孤寂些，也许在人前话更少些而已。