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Of course you had your illusions, lived in them indeed, and through their shifting mists and coloured veils saw all things changed[30a]. You thought, I remember quite well, that your devoting yourself to me, to the entire exclusion of your family and family life, was a proof of your wonderful appreciation of me, and your great affection. No doubt to you it seemed so. But recollect that with me was luxury, high living, unlimited pleasure, money without stint. Your family life bored you. The “cold cheap wine of Salisbury,” to use a phrase of your own making, was distasteful to you. On my side, and along with my intellectual attractions, were the fleshpots of Egypt. When you could not find me to be with, the companions whom you chose as substitutes were not flattering. 

当然,你有你的幻想,说实在是生活在这些幻想中。透过那游移的薄雾、有色的薄纱,一切全看走样了[30a]。我记得很清楚,你以为一心一意与我相伴,将你的家庭和家庭生活置之度外,便证明了你对我美妙的欣赏和深厚的情谊。在你看来无疑是如此。但是追忆当时,与我相伴便是奢侈,便是高雅生活,便是无限的欢娱、不尽的金钱。你的家庭生活使你腻烦。用句你自己的话说,“索尔兹伯里那廉价的冷酒”败你的兴。在我这边,除了我心智上的魅力外还有口腹声色之乐。当你找不到我作伴时,退而求其次的人选就令人不敢恭维了。 

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