Chapter 11

AT the appointed time I returned to Miss Havisham's, and my hesitating ring at the gate brought out Estella. She locked it after admitting me, as she had done before, and again preceded me into the dark passage where her candle stood. She took no notice of me until she had the candle in her hand, when she looked over her shoulder, superciliously saying, `You are to come this way today,' and took me to quite another part of the house.
The passage was a long one, and seemed to pervade the whole square basement of the Manor House. We traversed but one side of the square, however, and at the end of it she stopped, and put her candle down and opened a door. Here, the daylight reappeared, and I found myself in a small paved court-yard, the opposite side of which was formed by a detached dwelling-house, that looked as if it had once belonged to the manager or head clerk of the extinct brewery. There was a clock in the outer wall of this house. Like the clock in Miss Havisham's room, and like Miss Havisham's watch, it had stopped at twenty minutes to nine.

We went in at the door, which stood open, and into a gloomy room with a low ceiling, on the ground floor at the back. There was some company in the room, and Estella said to me as she joined it, `You are to go and stand there, boy, till you are wanted.' `There', being the window, I crossed to it, and stood `there,' in a very uncomfortable state of mind, looking out.

It opened to the ground, and looked into a most miserable corner of the neglected garden, upon a rank ruin of cabbage-stalks, and one box tree that had been clipped round long ago, like a pudding, and had a new growth at the top of it, out of shape and of a different colour, as if that part of the pudding had stuck to the saucepan and got burnt. This was my homely thought, as I contemplated the box-tree. There had been some light snow, overnight, and it lay nowhere else to my knowledge; but, it had not quite melted from the cold shadow of this bit of garden, and the wind caught it up in little eddies and threw it at the window, as if it pelted me for coming there.

I divined that my coming had stopped conversation in the room, and that its other occupants were looking at me. I could see nothing of the room except the shining of the fire in the window glass, but I stiffened in all my joints with the consciousness that I was under close inspection.

There were three ladies in the room and one gentleman. Before I had been standing at the window five minutes, they somehow conveyed to me that they were all toadies and humbugs, but that each of them pretended not to know that the others were toadies and humbugs: because the admission that he or she did know it, would have made him or her out to be a toady and humbug.

They all had a listless and dreary air of waiting somebody's pleasure, and the most talkative of the ladies had to speak quite rigidly to repress a yawn. This lady, whose name was Camilla, very much reminded me of my sister, with the difference that she was older, and (as I found when I caught sight of her) of a blunter cast of features. Indeed, when I knew her better I began to think it was a Mercy she had any features at all, so very blank and high was the dead wall of her face.

`Poor dear soul!' said this lady, with an abruptness of manner quite my sister's. `Nobody's enemy but his own!'

`It would be much more commendable to be somebody else's enemy,' said the gentleman; `far more natural.'

`Cousin Raymond,' observed another lady, `we are to love our neighbour.'

`Sarah Pocket,' returned Cousin Raymond, `if a man is not his own neighbour, who is?'

Miss Pocket laughed, and Camilla laughed and said (checking a yawn), `The idea!' But I thought they seemed to think it rather a good idea too. The other lady, who had not spoken yet, said gravely and emphatically, `Very true!'

`Poor soul!' Camilla presently went on (I knew they had all been looking at me in the mean time), `he is so very strange!Would anyone believe that when Tom's wife died, he actually could not be induced to see the importance of the children's having the deepest of trimmings to their mourning? "Good Lord!" says he, "Camilla, what can it signify so long as the poor bereaved little things are in black?" So like Matthew! The idea!'

`Good points in him, good points in him,' said Cousin Raymond; `Heaven forbid I should deny good points in him; but he never had, and he never will have, any sense of the proprieties.'

`You know I was obliged,' said Camilla, `I was obliged to be firm. I said, "It WILL NOT DO, for the credit of the family." I told him that, without deep trimmings, the family was disgraced. I cried about it from breakfast till dinner. I injured my digestion. And at last he flung out in his violent way, and said, with a D, "Then do as you like." Thank Goodness it will always be a consolation to me to know that I instantly went out in a pouring rain and bought the things.'

`He paid for them, did he not?' asked Estella.

`It's not the question, my dear child, who paid for them,' returned Camilla. `I bought them. And I shall often think of that with peace, when I wake up in the night.'

The ringing of a distant bell, combined with the echoing of some cry or call along the passage by which I had come, interrupted the conversation and caused Estella to say to me, `Now, boy!' On my turning round, they all looked at me with the utmost contempt, and, as I went out, I heard Sarah Pocket say, `Well I am sure!What next!' and Camilla add, with indignation, `Was there ever such a fancy! The i-de-a!'

As we were going with our candle along the dark passage, Estella stopped all of a sudden, and, facing round, said in her taunting manner with her face quite close to mine:

`Well?'

`Well, miss?' I answered, almost falling over her and checking myself.

She stood looking at me, and, of course, I stood looking at her.

`Am I pretty?'

`Yes; I think you are very pretty.'

`Am I insulting?'

`Not so much so as you were last time,' said I.

`Not so much so?'

`No.'

She fired when she asked the last question, and she slapped my face with such force as she had, when I answered it.

`Now?' said she. `You little coarse monster, what do you think of me now?'

`I shall not tell you.'

`Because you are going to tell, up-stairs. It that it?'

`No,' said I, `that's not it.'

`Why don't you cry again, you little wretch?'

`Because I'll never cry for you again,' said I. Which was, I suppose, as false a declaration as ever was made; for I was inwardly crying for her then, and I know what I know of the pain she cost me afterwards.

We went on our way up-stairs after this episode; and, as we were going up, we met a gentleman groping his way down.

`Whom have we here?' asked the gentleman, stopping and looking at me.

`A boy,' said Estella.

He was a burly man of an exceedingly dark complexion, with an exceedingly large head and a corresponding large hand. He took my chin in his large hand and turned up my face to have a look at me by the light of the candle. He was prematurely bald on the top of his head, and had bushy black eyebrows that wouldn't lie down but stood up bristling. His eyes were set very deep in his head, and were disagreeably sharp and suspicious. He had a large watchchain, and strong black dots where his beard and whiskers would have been if he had let them. He was nothing to me, and I could have had no foresight then, that he ever would be anything to me, but it happened that I had this opportunity of observing him well.

`Boy of the neighbourhood? Hey?' said he.

`Yes, sir,' said I.

`How do you come here?'

`Miss Havisham sent for me, sir,' I explained.

`Well! Behave yourself. I have a pretty large experience of boys, and you're a bad set of fellows. Now mind!' said he, biting the side of his great forefinger as he frowned at me, `you behave yourself!'

With those words, he released me - which I was glad of, for his hand smelt of scented soap - and went his way down-stairs. I wondered whether he could be a doctor; but no, I thought; he couldn't be a doctor, or he would have a quieter and more persuasive manner. There was not much time to consider the subject, for we were soon in Miss Havisham's room, where she and everything else were just as I had left them. Estella left me standing near the door, and I stood there until Miss Havisham cast her eyes upon me from the dressing-table.

`So!' she said, without being startled or surprised; `the days have worn away, have they?'

`Yes, ma'am. To-day is--'

`There, there, there!' with the impatient movement of her fingers. `I don't want to know. Are you ready to play?'

I was obliged to answer in some confusion, `I don't think I am, ma'am.'

`Not at cards again?' she demanded, with a searching look.

`Yes, ma'am; I could do that, if I was wanted.'

`Since this house strikes you old and grave, boy,' said Miss Havisham, impatiently, `and you are unwilling to play, are you willing to work?'

I could answer this inquiry with a better heart than I had been able to find for the other question, and I said I was quite willing.

`Then go into that opposite room,' said she, pointing at the door behind me with her withered hand, `and wait there till I come.'

I crossed the staircase landing, and entered the room she indicated. From that room, too, the daylight was completely excluded, and it had an airless smell that was oppressive. A fire had been lately kindled in the damp old-fashioned grate, and it was more disposed to go out than to burn up, and the reluctant smoke which hung in the room seemed colder than the clearer air - like our own marsh mist. Certain wintry branches of candles on the high chimneypiece faintly lighted the chamber: or, it would be more expressive to say, faintly troubled its darkness. It was spacious, and I dare say had once been handsome, but every discernible thing in it was covered with dust and mould, and dropping to pieces. The most prominent object was a long table with a tablecloth spread on it, as if a feast had been in preparation when the house and the clocks all stopped together. An épergne or centrepiece of some kind was in the middle of this cloth; it was so heavily overhung with cobwebs that its form was quite undistinguishable; and, as I looked along the yellow expanse out of which I remember its seeming to grow, like a black fungus, I saw speckled-legged spiders with blotchy bodies running home to it, and running out from it, as if some circumstances of the greatest public importance had just transpired in the spider community.

I heard the mice too, rattling behind the panels, as if the same occurrence were important to their interests. But, the blackbeetles took no notice of the agitation, and groped about the hearth in a ponderous elderly way, as if they were short-sighted and hard of hearing, and not on terms with one another.

These crawling things had fascinated my attention and I was watching them from a distance, when Miss Havisham laid a hand upon my shoulder. In her other hand she had a crutch-headed stick on which she leaned, and she looked like the Witch of the place.

`This,' said she, pointing to the long table with her stick, `is where I will be laid when I am dead. They shall come and look at me here.'

With some vague misgiving that she might get upon the table then and there and die at once, the complete realization of the ghastly waxwork at the Fair, I shrank under her touch.

`What do you think that is?' she asked me, again pointing with her stick; `that, where those cobwebs are?'

`I can't guess what it is, ma'am.'

`It's a great cake. A bride-cake. Mine!'

She looked all round the room in a glaring manner, and then said, leaning on me while her hand twitched my shoulder, `Come, come, come! Walk me, walk me!'

I made out from this, that the work I had to do, was to walk Miss Havisham round and round the room. Accordingly, I stated at once, and she leaned upon my shoulder, and we went away at a pace that might have been an imitation (founded on my first impulse under that roof) of Mr Pumblechook's chaise-cart.

She was not physically strong, and after a little time said, `Slower!' Still, we went at an impatient fitful speed, and as we went, she twitched the hand upon my shoulder, and worked her mouth, and led me to believe that we were going fast because her thoughts went fast. After a while she said, `Call Estella!' so I went out on the landing and roared that name as I had done on the previous occasion. When her light appeared, I returned to Miss Havisham, and we started away again round and round the room.

If only Estella had come to be a spectator of our proceedings, I should have felt sufficiently discontented; but, as she brought with her the three ladies and the gentleman whom I had seen below, I didn't know what to do. In my politeness, I would have stopped; but, Miss Havisham twitched my shoulder, and we posted on - with a shame-faced consciousness on my part that they would think it was all my doing.

`Dear Miss Havisham,' said Miss Sarah Pocket. `How well you look!'

`I do not,' returned Miss Havisham. `I am yellow skin and bone.'

Camilla brightened when Miss Pocket met with this rebuff; and she murmured, as she plaintively contemplated Miss Havisham, `Poor dear soul!' Certainly not to be expected to look well, poor thing. The idea!'

`And how are you?' said Miss Havisham to Camilla. As we were close to Camilla then, I would have stopped as a matter of course, only Miss Havisham wouldn't stop. We swept on, and I felt that I was highly obnoxious to Camilla.

`Thank you, Miss Havisham,' she returned, `I am as well as can be expected.'

`Why, what's the matter with you?' asked Miss Havisham, with exceeding sharpness.

`Nothing worth mentioning,' replied Camilla. `I don't wish to make a display of my feelings, but I have habitually thought of you more in the night than I am quite equal to.'

`Then don't think of me,' retorted Miss Havisham.

`Very easily said!' remarked Camilla, amiably repressing a sob, while a hitch came into her upper lip, and her tears overflowed. `Raymond is a witness what ginger and sal volatile I am obliged to take in the night. Raymond is a witness what nervous jerkings I have in my legs. Chokings and nervous jerkings, however, are nothing new to me when I think with anxiety of those I love. If I could be less affectionate and sensitive, I should have a better digestion and an iron set of nerves. I am sure I wish to could be so. But as to not thinking of you in the night - The idea!' Here, a burst of tears.

The Raymond referred to, I understood to be the gentleman present, and him I understood to be Mr Camilla. He came to the rescue at this point, and said in a consolatory and complimentary voice, `Camilla, my dear, it is well known that your family feelings are gradually undermining you to the extent of making one of your legs shorter than the other.'

`I am not aware,' observed the grave lady whose voice I had heard but once, `that to think of any person is to make a great claim upon that person, my dear.'

Miss Sarah Pocket, whom I now saw to be a little dry brown corrugated old woman, with a small face that might have been made of walnut shells, and a large mouth like a cat's without the whiskers, supported this position by saying, `No, indeed, my dear. Hem!'

`Thinking is easy enough,' said the grave lady.

`What is easier, you know?' assented Miss Sarah Pocket.

`Oh, yes, yes!' cried Camilla, whose fermenting feelings appeared to rise from her legs to her bosom. `It's all very true! It's a weakness to be so affectionate, but I can't help it. No doubt my health would be much better if it was otherwise, still I wouldn't change my disposition if I could. It's the cause of much suffering, but it's a consolation to know I posses it, when I wake up in the night.' Here another burst of feeling.

Miss Havisham and I had never stopped all this time, but kept going round and round the room: now, brushing against the skirts of the visitors: now, giving them the whole length of the dismal chamber.

`There's Matthew!' said Camilla. `Never mixing with any natural ties, never coming here to see how Miss Havisham is! I have taken to the sofa with my staylace cut, and have lain there hours, insensible, with my head over the side, and my hair all down, and my feet I don't know where--'

(`Much higher than your head, my love,' said Mr Camilla.)

`I have gone off into that state, hours and hours, on account of Matthew's strange and inexplicable conduct, and nobody has thanked me.'

`Really I must say I should think not!' interposed the grave lady.

`You see, my dear,' added Miss Sarah Pocket (a blandly vicious personage), `the question to put to yourself is, who did you expect to thank you, my love?'

`Without expecting any thanks, or anything of the sort,' resumed Camilla, `I have remained in that state, hours and hours, and Raymond is a witness of the extent to which I have choked, and what the total inefficacy of ginger has been, and I have been heard at the pianoforte-tuner's across the street, where the poor mistaken children have even supposed it to be pigeons cooing at a distance-and now to be told--' Here Camilla put her hand to her throat, and began to be quite chemical as to the formation of new combinations there.

When this same Matthew was mentioned, Miss Havisham stopped me and herself, and stood looking at the speaker. This change had a great influence in bringing Camilla's chemistry to a sudden end.

`Matthew will come and see me at last,' said Miss Havisham, sternly, when I am laid on that table. That will be his place - there,' striking the table with her stick, `at my head! And yours will be there! And your husband's there! And Sarah Pocket's there! And Georgiana's there! Now you all know where to take your stations when you come to feast upon me. And now go!'

At the mention of each name, she had struck the table with her stick in a new place. She now said, `Walk me, walk me!' and we went on again.

`I suppose there's nothing to be done,' exclaimed Camilla, `but comply and depart. It's something to have seen the object of one's love and duty, for even so short a time. I shall think of it with a melancholy satisfaction when I wake up in the night. I wish Matthew could have that comfort, but he sets it at defiance. I am determined not to make a display of my feelings, but it's very hard to be told one wants to feast on one's relations - as if one was a Giant - and to be told to go. The bare idea!'

Mr Camilla interposing, as Mrs Camilla laid her hand upon her heaving bosom, that lady assumed an unnatural fortitude of manner which I supposed to be expressive of an intention to drop and choke when out of view, and kissing her hand to Miss Havisham, was escorted forth. Sarah Pocket and Georgiana contended who should remain last; but, Sarah was too knowing to be outdone, and ambled round Georgiana with that artful slipperiness, that the latter was obliged to take precedence. Sarah Pocket then made her separate effect of departing with `Bless you, Miss Havisham dear!' and with a smile of forgiving pity on her walnut-shell countenance for the weaknesses of the rest.

While Estella was away lighting them down, Miss Havisham still walked with her hand on my shoulder, but more and more slowly. At last she stopped before the fire, and said, after muttering and looking at it some seconds:

`This is my birthday, Pip.'

I was going to wish her many happy returns, when she lifted her stick.

`I don't suffer it to be spoken of. I don't suffer those who were here just now, or any one, to speak of it. They come here on the day, but they dare not refer to it.'

Of course I made no further effort to refer to it.

`On this day of the year, long before you were born, this heap of decay,' stabbing with her crutched stick at the pile of cobwebs on the table but not touching it, `was brought here. It and I have worn away together. The mice have gnawed at it, and sharper teeth than teeth of mice have gnawed at me.'

She held the head of her stick against her heart as she stood looking at the table; she in her once white dress, all yellow and withered; the once white cloth all yellow and withered; everything around, in a state to crumble under a touch.

`When the ruin is complete,' said she, with a ghastly look, `and when they lay me dead, in my bride's dress on the bride's table - which shall be done, and which will be the finished curse upon him - so much the better if it is done on this day!'

She stood looking at the table as if she stood looking at her own figure lying there. I remained quiet. Estella returned, and she too remained quiet. It seemed to me that we continued thus for a long time. In the heavy air of the room, and the heavy darkness that brooded in its remoter corners, I even had an alarming fancy that Estella and I might presently begin to decay.

At length, not coming out of her distraught state by degrees, but in an instant, Miss Havisham said, `Let me see you two play cards; why have you not begun?' With that, we returned to her room, and sat down as before; I was beggared, as before; and again, as before, Miss Havisham watched us all the time, directed my attention to Estella's beauty, and made me notice it the more by trying her jewels on Estella's breast and hair.

Estella, for her part, likewise treated me as before; except that she did not condescend to speak. When we had played some halfdozen games, a day was appointed for my return, and I was taken down into the yard to be fed in the former dog-like manner. There, too, I was again left to wander about as I liked.

It is not much to the purpose whether a gate in that garden wall which I had scrambled up to peep over on the last occasion was, on that last occasion, open or shut. Enough that I saw no gate them, and that I saw one now. As it stood open, and as I knew that Estella had let the visitors out - for, she had returned with the keys in her hand - I strolled into the garden and strolled all over it. It was quite a wilderness, and there were old melon-frames and cucumber-frames in it, which seemed in their decline to have produced a spontaneous growth of weak attempts at pieces of old hats and boots, with now and then a weedy offshoot into the likeness of a battered saucepan.

When I had exhausted the garden, and a greenhouse with nothing in it but a fallen-down grape-vine and some bottles, I found myself in the dismal corner upon which I had looked out of window.Never questioning for a moment that the house was now empty, I looked in at another window, and found myself, to my great surprise, exchanging a broad stare with a pale young gentleman with red eyelids and light hair.

This pale young gentleman quickly disappeared, and re-appeared beside me. He had been at his books when I had found myself staring at him, and I now saw that he was inky.

`Halloa!' said he, `young fellow!'

Halloa being a general observation which I had usually observed to be best answered by itself, I said, `Halloa!' politely omitting young fellow.

`Who let you in?' said he.

`Miss Estella.'

`Who gave you leave to prowl about?'

`Miss Estella.'

`Come and fight,' said the pale young gentleman.

What could I do but follow him? I have often asked myself the question since: but, what else could I do? His manner was so final and I was so astonished, that I followed where he led, as if I had been under a spell.

`Stop a minute, though,' he said, wheeling round before we had gone many paces. `I ought to give you a reason for fighting, too. There it is!' In a most irritating manner he instantly slapped his hands against one another, daintily flung one of his legs up behind him, pulled my hair, slapped his hands again, dipped his head, and butted it into my stomach.

The bull-like proceeding last mentioned, besides that it was unquestionably to be regarded in the light of a liberty, was particularly disagreeable just after bread and meat. I therefore hit out at him and was going to hit out again, when he said, `Aha!Would you?' and began dancing backwards and forwards in a manner quite unparalleled within my limited experience.

`Laws of the game!' said he. Here, he skipped from his left leg on to his right. `Regular rules!' Here, he skipped from his right leg on to his left. `Come to the ground, and go through the preliminaries!' Here, he dodged backwards and forwards, and did all sorts of things while I looked helplessly at him.

I was secretly afraid of him when I saw him so dexterous; but, I felt morally and physically convinced that his light head of hair could have had no business in the pit of my stomach, and that I had a right to consider it irrelevant when so obtruded on my attention. Therefore, I followed him without a word, to a retired nook of the garden, formed by the junction of two walls and screened by some rubbish. On his asking me if I was satisfied with the ground, and on my replying Yes, he begged my leave to absent himself for a moment, and quickly returned with a bottle of water and a sponge dipped in vinegar. `Available for both,' he said, placing these against the wall. And then fell to pulling off, not only his jacket and waistcoat, but his shirt too, in a manner at once light-hearted, businesslike, and bloodthirsty.

Although he did not look very healthy - having pimples on his face, and a breaking out at his mouth - these dreadful preparations quite appalled me. I judged him to be about my own age, but he was much taller, and he had a way of spinning himself about that was full of appearance. For the rest, he was a young gentleman in a grey suit (when not denuded for battle), with his elbows, knees, wrists, and heels, considerably in advance of the rest of him as to development.

My heart failed me when I saw him squaring at me with every demonstration of mechanical nicety, and eyeing my anatomy as if he were minutely choosing his bone. I never have been so surprised in my life, as I was when I let out the first blow, and saw him lying on his back, looking up at me with a bloody nose and his face exceedingly fore-shortened.

But, he was on his feet directly, and after sponging himself with a great show of dexterity began squaring again. The second greatest surprise I have ever had in my life was seeing him on his back again, looking up at me out of a black eye.

His spirit inspired me with great respect. He seemed to have no strength, and he never once hit me hard, and he was always knocked down; but, he would be up again in a moment, sponging himself or drinking out of the water-bottle, with the greatest satisfaction in seconding himself according to form, and then came at me with an air and a show that made me believe he really was going to do for me at last. He got heavily bruised, for I am sorry to record that the more I hit him, the harder I hit him; but, he came up again and again and again, until at last he got a bad fall with the back of his head against the wall. Even after that crisis in our affairs, he got up and turned round and round confusedly a few times, not knowing where I was; but finally went on his knees to his sponge and threw it up: at the same time panting out, `That means you have won.'

He seemed to brave and innocent, that although I had not proposed the contest I felt but a gloomy satisfaction in my victory. Indeed, I go so far as to hope that I regarded myself while dressing, as a species of savage young wolf, or other wild beast. However, I got dressed, darkly wiping my sanguinary face at intervals, and I said, `Can I help you?' and he said `No thankee,' and I said `Good afternoon,' and he said `Same to you.'

When I got into the court-yard, I found Estella waiting with the keys. But, she neither asked me where I had been, nor why I had kept her waiting; and there was a bright flush upon her face, as though something had happened to delight her. Instead of going straight to the gate, too, she stepped back into the passage, and beckoned me.

`Come here! You may kiss me, if you like.'

I kissed her cheek as she turned it to me. I think I would have gone through a great deal to kiss her cheek. But, I felt that the kiss was given to the coarse common boy as a piece of money might have been, and that it was worth nothing.

What with the birthday visitors, and what with the cards, and what with the fight, my stay had lasted so long, that when I neared home the light on the spit of sand off the point on the marshes was gleaming against a black night-sky, and Joe's furnace was flinging a path of fire across the road.

 

我在约定的时间到了郝维仙小姐的家门口,犹犹豫豫地按了铃。埃斯苔娜走了出来,打开门锁让我进去,然后像上次一样又锁上门,带我去到那个放着蜡烛的过道。一开始,她根本就不理我,一直到她拿起了蜡烛,才转过头来,十分傲慢地说道:“今天你从这条路走。”于是她便带我走向这所大房子的另一处地方。

这是一条很长的通道,看上去似乎绕遍了整座正方形的宅邸。我们只走完了正方形的一边,在顶头的地方她停住脚,放下蜡烛,打开了一扇门。这时,阳光又重新出现,我发现自己进入了一个铺着石板的小小庭院,院子的对面是一幢独立的住宅。我想这房子可能是早已停产的制酒作坊原先的经理或管事居住的地方。在这所房子的外墙上悬挂着一只钟。这只钟和郝维仙小姐房里的钟一样,也和郝维仙小姐的表一样,指针停在八时四十分上。

门大开着,我们走了进去。这是一个阴沉昏暗的房间,位于房子底层的后部,而且天花板很低。房里有几个人,埃斯苔娜走到他们那里后,对我说:“小孩,你走到那里去,站在那儿,等有人叫你时再进去。”她说的“那儿”是指窗子。于是我走了过去,站在“那儿”,心里很不高兴地看着外面。

这扇落地长自从顶到底全部打开着,望出去是已荒废掉的花园里一处最凄凉的角落。那里全是白菜梗子,还有一棵黄杨树,已经有很长一段时间没有修剪了,活像一块布了。树顶有一簇新长出的叶子,不仅样子难看,连颜色似乎也和原色不同,好像这布了在小锅里烤时有一处粘在锅底被烤焦了一样。当然,这是我在观看黄杨树时所想到的,是我朴实无邪的想法。我知道昨天夜里有过一场小雪,不过任何地方都没有看到积雪。可是在这花园里的这一小块寒冷阴湿之处,却积着未融化的白雪。寒风吹来,一阵雪花从地上卷起,沙沙地打在窗子上,好像在狠狠地斥责我,不该来到这个鬼地方。

我的猜测一点不假,我一走进屋便使屋子中的人都停止了谈话,而且都一起细瞧着我。房中的景象除了映照在窗上的熊熊炉火,其他什么东西我都看不见。但我意识到自己处于众目睽睽之下,全身的关节都僵硬得动弹不得。

屋中有三位女上和一位男土。我站在那扇窗边也不过才五分钟,便从他们那里获得一种印象,即他们全都是马屁精和骗子。不过,他们都装模作样,好像不知道别人是马屁精和骗子,因为,无论他或她只要戳穿对方是吹牛拍马之徒,那无疑也就是承认了他或她自己也是一个马屁精和骗子。

他们都在这里等待着某个人的光荣接见,现在已等得不耐烦了,显出无精打采和疲倦的样子。最健谈的一位女士不得不找些话讲讲,以此来强使自己不打呵欠。这位女士的名字是卡美拉,一见到她便使我想起我的姐姐。要说两者有什么不同,那就是她年长了几岁,而且(我一眼便瞧了出来)长着一副更加粗鲁愚钝的面孔。说实在话,等我看得更清楚一些,我不得不认为她这副面孔简直是一堵死墙,既无门窗,又显得很高,她的面孔有那么点儿特征已经算是她走运了。

“真是可怜的好人!”这位夫人说道,一开口就是这种没有礼貌的态度,和我的姐姐没有两样。“他不与任何人为敌,除了他自己。”

“我看最好还是与人为敌,”那位先生说道,“这样才顺乎自然。”

“雷蒙德表弟,”另一位夫人说道,“我们都应当爱护别人。”

“莎娜·鄱凯特,”这位雷蒙德表弟答道,“如果一个人连他自己也不爱护,你叫他去爱护谁呢?”

鄱凯特小姐笑了。卡美拉也笑了,并且尽量抑制住自己的呵欠说道:“真是高见!”我想他们也许真的把这当成高见了。还有一位尚未开过口的妇女这时也认认真真、煞有介事地说道:“确是高见!”

“真是个可怜的人!”卡美拉随即又说下去。我知道在这段时间里他们一直都望着我。“他真古怪!汤姆的妻子死时,他不听别人的劝告,就是不明白该让孩子们穿上重孝服。现在谈起这件事又有谁相信呢?他甚至还说:‘上天之主啊!卡美拉,这些可怜的小东西已经丧失了亲人,穿上黑孝服又有什么意思呢?’马休就是这样!这就是他的想法。”

“他有他的优点,他有他的优点,”雷蒙德表弟说道,“我要是不承认他的优点,老天也会责怪我的。不过,他总是不合时宜,永远也不会顺乎潮流。”

“你知道,我是下定决心的,”卡美拉说道,“一定得坚持到底。我说: ‘为了一个家庭的名声,我不能像你那样干。’我告诉他,如果不戴重孝,家庭的名誉就会给丢尽了。我从早饭就开始大吵大闹,一直吵闹到吃晚饭,吵得胃都发痛,没法消化。最后,他也发了火,赌咒地说道:‘那么你高兴怎样干就怎么干。’于是,我立刻冒了倾盆大雨去购置重孝衣物。真谢天谢地,我总算办成这件事,对我也是一个安慰。”

“钱是他付的,对吗?”埃斯苔娜问道。

“我亲爱的小姑娘,问题不在于究竟是谁付钱,”卡美拉答道,“东西是我买来的。夜里我醒来,常常想到这件事,内心也感到心安理得。”

远处响起了铃声,沿着我刚才走来的那条过道传到这里,铃声中还混杂着一个人的喊声,打断了这里的谈话。埃斯苔娜这时对我说:“小孩,现在你可以去了。”在我转身的时候,他们全部都以最蔑视的眼光看着我。我走出门后还听到莎娜·鄱凯特说:“啊呀,怎么会是这样!还有比这事更奇怪的么?”接着卡美拉也补充道:“这真是奇谈怪事!闻所未闻!”语气之间充满了愤恨。

埃斯苔娜拿着蜡烛,我们沿着黑暗的过道走着。突然,埃斯苔娜停了下来,转过头,把脸紧贴着我的脸,用嘲弄的语气对我说道:

“哎?”

“哎,小姐。”我回答道,几乎撞到她身上,连忙控制住身子。

她站在那里望着我,自然,我也只能站在那里望着她。

“我生得漂亮吗?”

“漂亮,我觉得你非常漂亮。”

“我无札么?”

“不像上次那样无礼。”我说道。

“没上一次那样无礼?”

“没有。

她问我最后一个问题时,火气已经上冲了。当我回答时,她便使出全身的力量打了我一个耳光。

“现在怎么样?”她说道,“你这个粗野的小妖怪,现在你对我怎么想的?”

“我不告诉你。”

“因为你想到楼上去告发我,是不是那回事?”

“不是,”我说道,“不是那回事。”

“这会儿你为什么不哭,你这个小坏蛋?”

“因为今后我不会再为你哭了。”我说道。其实这又是一个天大的谎言,因为在我内心的深处又在为了她偷偷哭泣,而且我了解到了她后来所给予我的、令我深有体会的痛苦。

这一段插曲以后,我们便登上楼梯。我们正在向上走时,遇到了一位正摸着黑向下走的先生。

“这个人是谁?”这位先生停下来望着我。

“一个孩子。”埃斯苔娜答道。

这是个结实健壮的汉子,面色非常黑,生了一个大得出奇的头,还配了一双大得出奇的手。他用那只大手抓住我的下巴,把我的面孔仰起来,借着烛光对我仔细端详。他的头顶已经秃了,表现出未老先衰的样子,大黑眉像小灌木丛,根根竖直,一根也不愿意倒伏。他的两颗眼珠深深地陷进去,充满怀疑的神色,一看就令人不愉快。他身上挂着一串大表链,满脸都是胡子茬。要是他留起来,一定是个大胡子。我和他毫无关系,根本也想不到他将来会和我有什么关系,但既然今日相遇,我也就趁着这机会对他观察了一番。

“嘿,你是这一带的孩子吗?”他问道。

“是的,先生。”我答道。

“你是怎么来到这里的?”

“先生,是郝维仙小姐叫我来的。”我向他表明。

“好吧!行为要端正些。我对待孩子可有经验呢,你们都是一群坏家伙。要留神些!”他说着,咬着他那只粗大的食指,对我皱了皱眉。“行为要端正些!”

说毕,他便放开了我,径自下楼去了。我十分高兴他放了我,因为他的手上有一股香皂的气味。我怀疑他可能是位医生,可又一想,不会的,他不可能是医生,因为医生一般是文绉绉的,说话会带有劝导性。现在我已经没有时间多考虑这类问题,因为我很快就进入了郝维仙小姐的房间。郝维仙小姐本人和房间里的一切陈设都和我上一次离开这里时一模一样。埃斯苔娜在房门口丢下我走了。我站在那里等着,一直等到郝维仙小姐从她的梳妆台那里一抬眼看到了我。

“是你吗?”她说着,毫无吃惊的感觉,也不感到奇怪。“这些日子又消逝了,你说是吗?”

“是的,夫人。今天是——”

“住口,住口,住口!”她显得焦躁不安,挥动着她的指头。“我不想知道。你说你今天准备玩了吗?”

我很慌乱,不得不说:“我想我还是不行,小姐。”

“不再玩玩牌吗?”她用锐利的眼光看着我,以命令的口吻说道。

“玩牌,小姐,只要你要我玩牌,我就玩牌。”

“孩子,这屋子太陈旧了,又太阴森,”郝维仙小姐不耐烦地说道,“你又不愿意玩。你愿意做事吗?”

一听到这个问题,我心头就比回答刚才那个问题时宽慰得多,于是便立刻回答她我是十分愿意做事的。

“那你就到对面房间去,”她说着,用她那枯干的手指着我身后的门,“等在那里,我马上就来。”

我走过楼梯平台,进了她要我去的那一个房间。这房间和都维仙小姐住的那间一样,阳光全被隔在了外面,屋里散发出一阵令人气闷压抑的混浊空气的味道。潮湿的旧式火炉中刚刚生了一炉火。与其说是生着火,不如说人很快就要熄灭了。火炉中散发出令人讨厌的烟气,迷漫在整个房间中,似乎比外面的凉气更要寒冷,冷得和我们那里沼泽地上的雾气差不多。在高高的烛台上燃点着几支发出寒光的蜡烛,昏暗地照射着房中的一切。如果要表达得更清楚一些,这几支发出寒气的蜡烛把房间里寂静的黑暗都给扰乱了。整间屋子显得很宽敞。我认为从前这屋里一定是富丽堂皇的,可如今屋内的每一件东西上都覆盖着一层尘土,或者布满了霉菌,都在腐烂着。屋中最引人注目的是一张长桌,上面铺着桌布,仿佛一场宴会已经准备就绪,可忽然整座宅邸和所有钟表都停在了时间的一点上。桌布的中央仍然摆着果碟和花瓶一类的装饰品,现在都结满了蜘蛛网,连形状也难以辨别清楚了。我注视着那已变黄的桌布,觉得它长出了像黑蕈苗一类的东西。我看到生着花斑长腿的蜘蛛,满身长着疙瘩,奔进奔出它们的家园,仿佛这个蜘蛛王国发生了什么惊天动地的伟大事件。

我还听到老鼠在嵌板后面传来咔哒咔哒的声音,仿佛蜘蛛王国的大事也引起了它们的兴趣。唯独黑甲虫对这些骚动毫不在意,拖着沉思而老态龙钟的脚步在火炉四边摸索着,仿佛它们因为眼睛近视,耳朵又听不见,所以只顾自己,和其他的邻居们互不来往。

我远远地观察着这些小爬虫的活动。它们吸引着我,我都看呆了。忽然,郝维仙小姐的一只手放在了我的肩头上,另一只手里握着一根丁字形的手杖,用它支撑着身体。她的模样看上去活像这所屋子中的女巫。

她用手杖指着这长桌子说道:“等我死了以后,这上面就是停放我尸体的地方。大家都会到这里来看我最后一眼。”

听了她的话我感到有些莫名其妙的担忧,生怕她就会躺到桌上去,并且立刻死在上面,变成上次我在集市上所见到的那个可怕的蜡像,所以在她放在我肩胛上的手下面,我吓得缩成一团。

“你说那个是什么?”她又用手杖指着那里问我,“就在结了蜘蛛网的地方。”

“小姐,我猜不出那是什么。”

“那是一块大蛋糕,是结婚蛋糕,是我的结婚蛋糕!”

她用炫耀的眼神看了一下屋子的四周,然后用手抓住我的肩膀,把我当作拐棍一样支撑着,说道:“好了,好了!扶我走一下!扶我走一下!”

从这一句话中,我马上领悟出我必须干的活儿原来是扶郝维仙小姐在屋子里一圈圈地来回走动。我立刻就迈开步,让她把我的肩肿当拐棍。我第一次来到她的家时,曾想效仿彭波契克先生马车的样子,这回可真的模仿了。我装成他马车的样子一步步地走着。

她的身体是很孱弱的,我们走了一段她便对我说:“走慢些!”可她走着走着,又会由于不耐烦而走快起来。我们一面走着,她的手一面在我的肩头上抽动着,她的嘴也在抽动着。因此,我便想到,我们之所以走得快起来,完全是因为她头脑中的思想快了起来。又走了一会儿,她说道:“去叫埃斯苔娜!”于是我走到楼梯平台上,像上次一样大声叫喊她的名字。等到见到了她的烛光,我便回来扶住郝维仙小姐。我们又在房中统起了圈子。

如果只有埃斯苔娜一个人到这里来看我们绕着屋子转,我就已经会感到十分地不安了,何况这次她把我在楼下见到过的那三位夫人和一位先生也带了来,我真给弄得手足无措了。从礼貌上说,我本该停下步子,但是郝维仙小姐在我肩头上捏了一把,于是我们又像马一样地急走着。我的心里感到十分局促不安,因为这些人一定会以为是我玩的花样。

“亲爱的郝维仙小姐,”莎娜·鄱凯特小姐说道,“您的气色挺不错的。”

郝维仙小姐答道:“我气色不好,只不过面黄肌瘦、骨瘦如柴罢了。”

卡美拉突然喜形于色,因为鄱凯特小姐遭到了当头一棒,于是她装出一副忧思重重的样子,注视着郝维仙小姐,嘴里喃喃地说着:“多可怜的好人!不能指望气色怎么好,多可怜的人。说她气色好,多么糊涂的想法!”

我们走到卡美拉跟前时,郝维仙小姐对她说道:“你过得好吗?”这时我本该停下来,可是郝维仙小姐不肯停,于是我们只有继续走下去。我想卡美拉一定对我恨之入骨。

“谢谢您,郝维仙小姐,”卡美拉答道,“我还过得去。”

“怎么啦,有什么事儿吗?”郝维仙小姐用十分尖厉的语气问道。

“没有提的必要,”卡美拉答道,“我并不想在您面前表白我的情感,不过每天晚上思念您已成为我的习惯了,以至于把自己却丢在了一旁。”

“那么,你就不要思念我好了。”郝维仙小姐回敬道。

“说起来多容易!”卡美拉带着温和的情意,抑制着抽噎,谁料话一碰嘴唇,泪珠一下子满盈了眼眶。“这一点雷蒙德可以作证,到了晚上我就不得不饮姜汁酒,还要服清醒头脑的药。雷蒙德可以作证,我两条腿上的神经痉挛得很厉害。只要一想到我心头疼爱的人,我就着急,一着急就会噎住,神经就会痉挛。这种情况我已习以为常,不是新鲜事了。我这个人太重情感,过于多愁,如不是这样,我也不至于消化不良,神经也会像铁一样坚硬。我真希望能如此。可是,要我到了晚上不想念您——那,别谈这些了!”这时,她的眼泪已如雨一样地洒下来。

她所说的这位雷蒙德,据我猜测就是这里的这位先生,而这位先生据我猜测就是卡美拉先生。就在这个节骨眼上,他来援救了。他用安慰和赞美的声调说道:“卡美拉,我亲爱的,大家都知道你重视家庭亲缘感情,正是这种情感逐渐伤害了你的身体,甚至使你的一条腿比另一条腿短了。”

那位表情严肃的妇女,即刚才在下面我只听到她讲过一次话的妇女,现在说道:“我亲爱的,我看并不是想念某人就要从某人那里得到大笔好处。”

现在我才看出,莎娜·鄱凯特小姐是一位身材矮小、满脸皱纹、肤色棕黄的干枯老太婆。她那张小脸活像是胡桃壳做成的,一张嘴却大得和猫嘴一样,只不过没有胡子罢了。这时,她对这看法颇为赞同地说道:“当然不是想捞什么,亲爱的,嗯!”

“想念想念是再容易不过了。”那位表情严肃的妇女说道。

“除了想念想念外还有什么更容易的事,你说呢?”莎娜·鄱凯特表示赞成地说道。

“噢,没有错,没有错!”卡美拉大声说道,这时她的情感已被扰乱了,而且从两腿升起,直冲进她的胸口。“完全正确!本来嘛,多愁善感就是一个弱点,可是我有什么办法呢?正是我有这多愁的弱点,身体才遭了殃,否则又不致如此吧。不过,就是能改变我的这性格,我也不想改。尽管我为此不知道忍受了多少痛苦,但是每逢我深夜中醒来,发现自己仍然是这么个性格,倒反而给了我安慰。”说到这里,她又泪珠如雨,以表明自己的情怀。

郝维仙小姐和我一直没有停步,在房间中一圈一圈地走着,不时地擦过女客们的裙边,也不时地远远离开她们,走到这阴郁沉闷房间的另一头。

卡美拉又说道:“只有马休这个人不懂得任何亲缘之情,从来不会到这儿来看看郝维仙小姐!而我已经把沙发作为常伴,时常解开紧身褡的带子,一连几个小时无知无觉地躺在上面,头枕在沙发边上,头发垂挂在沙发下面,而我的脚不知道放在哪里——”

“亲爱的,你的脚放得比你的头还要高呢!”卡美拉先生说道。

“我就是那样一连几个小时几个小时地昏沉而睡,还不是为了马休的古怪脾气和令人费解的行为。可是从没有谁来感谢我。”

那位表情严肃的妇女插嘴道:“说老实话,我不认为会有人感谢。”

“你知道,亲爱的,”莎娜·鄱凯特小姐也补充道(这是个表面温和,内里坏心肠的人),“你该问一问自己,你究竟期望谁来感谢你呢,亲爱的?”

“我并不指望有谁来感谢我,也不指望有谁会对我怎么样,”卡美拉又继续说道,“我就是那样一连几个小时地昏沉而睡。这一点雷蒙德是证人,他看到我给噎住,即使喝姜汁酒也不起作用。我打噎打得很厉害,连街对面的那家人在弹钢琴时都听到我的打噎声,那些可怜的孩子还以为是远远的鸽子叫声呢。没有想到现在我反而被别人评头品足——”这时卡美拉把手放在喉头处,准备开始她的化学反应,想构成新的化合物。

郝维仙小姐听到这同一个马休的名字时,让我停了下来,她自己也不走了,站在那儿望着说话的人。这个变化起了很大作用,使得卡美拉的化学反应也停止了。

这时,郝维仙小姐严厉而又冷酷地说道:“马休最后会来看我的,那时我就停放在那张桌子上。马休就站在他该站的地方,”她用手杖敲着桌面,“站在我的头旁边!你就站在这里!你的丈夫站在这边!莎娜·鄱凯特站在那边!乔其亚娜站在这一边!现在我把你们站的地方全都安排好了,到那时你们就来把我分而食之。好了,现在你们该走了!”

她说话时,每提到一个名字便用手杖在桌子的一个地方敲一下。然后,她对我说:“扶我走吧,扶我走吧!”于是我们又重新开始在房内转圈子。

“我看无法可想了,”卡美拉大声嚷道,“只有遵从旨意在此告别。不过我总算见到了所思念的人,尽了自己的义务,虽然仅仅这么一会儿,也可聊以自慰。在我于深夜梦醒时,虽然会感到忧郁,但还是满足的。马休本来也可以得到这安慰,但他却反其道一意孤行。我本来是下定决心不再表明我内心情意的,不过现在说起我们要把自己的骨肉至亲分而食之,好像我们都成了吃人的巨人,而且最终又下了逐客令,真不知道说什么是好!”

卡美拉夫人把手放在起伏不停的胸口上时,卡美拉先生便插过来帮忙。她很不自然地装出一副强自镇静的样子,我想无非是想表明她一离开这里就要跌倒打噎吧。卡美拉先生扶着她走出去时,她还对着郝维仙小姐做了一个飞吻。莎娜·鄱凯特和乔其亚娜都心怀鬼胎想留在最后一个离开,丽莎娜·鄱凯特毕竟与众不同,懂得如何以智取胜。她矫揉造作,圆滑之极,围着乔其亚娜转来转去,使得她不得不先离开。于是,莎娜·鄱凯特便可以在告别时使用特别有影响的词句:“愿生保佑您,亲爱的郝维仙小姐!”她那胡桃壳般的脸上露出了宽容慈爱的微笑,对其他几人的弱点表示出同情。

埃斯苔娜举着蜡烛送客人下楼。郝维仙小姐仍然一手搭在我的肩上一步一步走着,不过越走越慢。最后,她停在炉火前,凝视了几秒钟,又嘟哝了一些什么,对我说:

“皮普,今天是我的生日。”

我正准备祝愿她万寿无疆,她却举起了手杖。

“我不许提这件事。我不许刚才到这儿来的人提这件事,也不让任何人提这件事。每逢这一天他们就来了,但他们都不敢提这件事。”

当然,我也就没有必要想法提这件事了。

“有一年的今天,在你出生很久之前的一个今天,”她用她那根了字形手杖点着桌上放着的一堆结了蛛网的东西,但没有碰到它,“这堆垃圾被送到了这里。从那时起,这东西和我就一起开始逐年憔悴。老鼠一直用牙齿在啃它,而有比老鼠牙齿更尖厉的牙齿一直在啃着我。”

她站在那里,凝视着桌上放的东西,用手杖头抵着自己的心口。她穿的是曾经洁白的婚礼服,现在已经泛黄而且萎缩;桌上铺的是曾经洁白的桌布,现在也已泛黄而且萎缩了;四周的每一件东西只要碰一下,都立即会变成面粉。

“终有一天死神会成全我的,”她带着副鬼一般的苍白面孔说道,“那时他们会把我停放在这里,穿着新娘的礼服躺在迎亲的喜筵桌上。我死后就这样办,这就是对他最后的诅咒,如果正逢到这个日子那才好呢!”

她站在桌边,凝视着这张桌子,仿佛站在那里正凝视着躺在桌上的她自己的尸体。我依旧沉默无语。埃斯苔娜已经返回,也保持着沉默。我觉得我们似乎那样站了好长一段时间。屋内的空气浑浊沉闷,每一个角落里都笼罩着浓重的黑暗,甚至使我也产生了一种令人恐怖的幻觉,埃斯苔娜和我似乎也开始了缓慢的腐烂过程。

她就那样,处于一种心神错乱的状态,可是最后,在霎那之间她又恢复了正常。她说:“我来看你们两个人玩牌,为什么还不开始玩?”于是我们都回到她的房间,像上次一样地坐在那里;像上次一样,我一次又一次地让我的牌被吃光;像上次一样,郝维仙小姐一直在注视着我们,设法引起我对埃斯苔娜美貌的注意。她一会儿把珠宝试戴在埃斯苔娜的胸口,一会儿又试戴在埃斯苔娜的头上,弄得我目不暇给。

至于埃斯苔娜也像上次一样地对待我,如果说有什么不同,那就是这次她不愿意降低身份来和我说话。我们玩了约摸五六局,我便被告知下一次来的日子,然后像上次一样地被领到院子里,像狗一样地被喂给吃的东西。当然,也像上次一样,我被留在那里随我高兴地东游西荡。

上次我曾爬上一道国墙去观看花园景色,那墙上有一扇门。至于上次那扇门究竟是开着还是关着,我并无意去追究。反正上一次我没有看到什么门,而这次我看到了。现在门开着,我知道埃斯苔娜早就把客人们送走,因为我见到刚才她返回时手中拿着一串钥匙。我信步走进了花园,而且在那儿东逛西逛。这花园早变成了一片荒地,只留下一些旧的香瓜棚和黄瓜棚架子,也已经衰败不堪。那几根枯藤只能乱找一些依靠来寻求生存,爬在破帽子上,攀过旧靴子;还有时,一根枯藤上冒出的新枝,把一只破锅当成寄身之所。

我逛遍了花园,还选了一所花房,其实里面什么也没有,除了一株倒伏的葡萄和几只瓶子。这时我才发现,我正在一个阴沉凄凉的角落里,也就是刚才我从窗口看到过的那个角落。用不着问,我以为这个屋子是空的,一个人也没有,便从另一个窗口向里面张望。大出意料之外的是,我发现自己正和一位面孔苍白、眼脸发红、头发淡黄的少年绅士相互对望着。

这位苍白面孔的少年绅士一转眼便不见了,可是一会儿他却站在了我的身边。刚才在窗口时我看到他正在读书,这会儿他在我面前看上去又是满手墨迹。

他对我招呼道:“喂,小家伙!”

“喂”这个词是个一般的称呼,我看最好的应付方法该是依样画葫芦,所以我答道:“喂。”为了礼貌,我没有说出“小家伙”几个字。

“谁放你进来的?”他说道。

“埃斯苔娜小姐。”

“谁让你在这儿东荡西逛的?”

“埃斯苔娜小姐。”

“来,我们打一场。”这个苍白面孔的少年绅士这样说道。

我除了跟着他走,还能有什么办法?这个问题以后一直萦绕在我心头,可是当时我能做的只有跟他走,因为他的态度是决定性的,而我的吃惊也是自然的。他在前头引路,我跟在后面,仿佛着了魔似的。

“停一会儿,”他回过头来对我说,其实这时我们还没有走出多少步,“打架也该让你晓得打的理由。看我的。”说着他便表现出一副十分激怒的样子,把两手相互一拍,做出一个很优雅的后踢腿姿势,随即扯住我的头发,然后又一拍两手,低着他的头向我的心口冲撞而来。

他这种撞头法简直和公牛没有两样。无疑,这是不知廉耻的不礼貌行为,再加上我刚吃过面包和肉,给他这一撞特别感到不舒服。所以,我便也给了他一拳。当我正准备再给他一拳时,他却说道:“嚼呀!你倒有种?”于是他便前后摆动起身体,这种打架方法我可没有见过,也许是我的见识太少吧。

“打有打的规则!”他说着,踢起左腿,右脚落地。“一切都要符合规则!”说着,他又踢起右腿,左脚落地。“先去找一个场子,做些赛前准备!”于是,他跳来跳去,前后躲闪做了各式各样的怪动作,而我只能眼巴巴地看着。

我看他身形机灵活泼,心中对他暗怕几分,但是,无论从道义上还是从身体上说,我坚信他那长着淡黄色头发的头和我的心口本来无怨无仇,既然他能撞我,我也就有权利以牙还牙,既然我被逼如此,那也是身不由己了。所以,我无言地跟着他,走到花园的一个僻静角落。这里是两道培的连接处,还有一堆垃圾可以把视线隔开。他问我对这个所在满不满意,我的回答是肯定的。于是,他又要求离开这里一会儿。果然一会儿他就回来了,还带来一瓶水和一块浸在醋中的海绵。他说:“这东西对你我双方都有用。”然后便把它们放在靠墙的地方。接下来,他便开始脱衣眼,先脱掉茄克和背心,又脱去衬衫。他的态度表现出一副无忧无虑、爽快利落的样子,不过其中藏着一股杀气。

虽然看上去他并不很健康,脸上生了青春痘,嘴上还生有火疮,但他的那些准备活动把我吓了一大跳。我猜,他的年纪和我差不多,但身材比我高得多,他那个旋转身形的架势的确使人眼花缭乱。再说,这位少年绅士穿了一身灰色衣服(这是指他脱衣上阵之前的样子),胳膊肘、双膝、两只手腕、两只脚后跟都比他身体的其他部分要发达。

我看到他对我拉开进攻架势,招式几乎完美无缺。他用眼睛细细打量着我的身体,仿佛在精心选择进攻的骨骼部位。我被他这架势吓傻了。可是,当我挥出第一拳时,他就被四脚朝天地打倒在地,睁着两眼仰视着我,鼻孔里流出鲜血,整个面孔似乎都缩小了。这真是我平生中所遇到的最希奇的事情。

他一骨碌又爬了起来,用浸醋海绵拭干了鼻子中流出的血,马上又摆开他那精美的进攻架势。然而,他一下子又仰面朝天地躺在了地上,眼圈发青,仰视着我。这是我平生中所遇到的第二件最为希奇的事情。

他的精神可嘉,使我敬佩万分。看来他没有多大气力,落在我身上的拳头也不重,而我的拳头一到他身上,他就被打翻在地。不过,他一下子就又爬了起来,用浸醋海绵拭干血迹,又喝了些那个瓶中的水,十分满意地按照打架的规则给自己加了补充,接着又对我摆开新架势,使我觉得这一次我一定会被他制服。结果,他又落得个鼻青脸肿的下场。我感到歉意的是我每击他一次,分量也就加重一点。但是,他倒下一次,就又爬起来一次。就这样,他摔倒,爬起,再摔倒,再爬起。最后,他狠狠地被我击倒了,头也撞到了后面的墙上。即使在这种危险时刻,他还是爬了起来,狼狈不堪地在地上转了几圈,连我在什么地方也弄不清了。接着,他又立足不稳地跌跪在地上,爬着拿起海绵,承认失败地抛起它,同时气喘喘地说道:“这一次比试是你胜了。”

他似乎很勇敢,又很天真。虽然这次比试不是由我引起的,而我又胜利了,可我除了心情郁闷不解外,并无满足之感。穿衣服的时候,我真希望我把自己当成一条小野狼,或者别的什么野兽。不管怎样,我穿好了衣眼,闷闷不乐地擦去脸上的几处血痕,对他说:“要我帮忙吗?”他答道:“不用了,谢谢。”我说:“再见了。”他也说:“再见了。”

我一回到院子,就看到埃斯苔娜拿着钥匙站在那儿等着,但她既没有问我刚才在哪儿,也没问我为什么让她久等。只见她脸上泛着红晕,好像发生了什么特别使她高兴的事。她没有直接向大门走去,反而退回到过道,示意我走过去。

“到这儿来!你要高兴就吻我一下。”

她把脸转过来时,我吻了她的面颊。现在我想,这面颊上的一吻完全可以使我甘愿为她身人虎穴,而那时我却觉得她赐给我这个粗野平常孩子的一吻,就好像是丢给我一个小钱,是不值得大惊小怪的。

这一天我在那里待的时间很久,因为巧遇了郝维仙小姐的生日,来了客人,又和埃斯苔娜打了牌,还和一位少年绅士比试了拳术,所以在我快接近家门时,沼泽地那边沙滩上的灯塔已经迎着黑夜的天空大放光明,乔的打铁炉中飞溅出来的火星也已闪烁在了大路边。