第12期:我的名字(1)

My name 1

In English my name means hope. In Spanish it means too many letters. It means sadness, it means waiting. It is like the number nine. A muddy color. It is the Mexican records my father plays on Sunday mornings when he is shaving, songs like sobbing.

It was my great-grandmother's name and now it is mine. She was a horse woman too, born like me in the Chinese year of horse—which is supposed to be bad luck if you're born female—but I think this is a Chinese lie because the Chinese, like the Mexicans, don't like their women strong.

My great-grandmother. I would've liked to have known her, a wild horse of a woman, so wild she wouldn't marry. Until my great-grandfather threw a sack over her head and carried her off. Just that, as if she were a fancy chandelier. That's the way he did it.

我的名字 1

在英语里,我的名字的意思是希望。在西班牙语里,它意味着太多的字母。它意味着哀伤,意味着等待。它就像数字九。一种泥泞的色彩。它是没到星期天早晨,爸爸刮胡子是播放的墨西哥唱片,呜咽的歌。

它过去是我曾祖母的名字,现在是我的。她也是一个属马的女人,和我一样,生在中国的马年——如果你生为女人,这会被认为是霉运——可是我想,这是个中国谎,因为,中国人和墨西哥人一样,不喜欢他们的女人强大。

我的曾祖母。要是我见过她多好,女人中的野马,野得不想嫁人。直到我的曾祖父用麻袋套住她的头把她扛走。就那样扛着,好像她是一盏华贵的枝型吊灯。那就是他的办法。