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It did not occur to me then that you could have the supreme vice, shallowness. Indeed, it was a real grief to me when I had to let you know that I was obliged to reserve for family business my first opportunity of receiving a letter: but my brother-in-law had written to me to say that if I would only write once to my wife she would, for my own sake and for our children’s sake, take no action for divorce. I felt my duty was to do so. Setting aside other reasons, I could not bear the idea of being separated from Cyril, that beautiful, loving, loveable child of mine, my friend of all friends, my companion beyond all companions, one single hair of whose little golden head should have been dearer and of more value to me than, I will not merely say you from top to toe, but the entire chrysolite of the whole world[42a].[42.1] was so indeed to me always, though I failed to understand it till too late. 

我那时没想到,你会有这一大恶——浮浅。我当时真的很伤心,但又不得不告诉你,第一次让我收信的机会,因为只能收一封,只好留给有关我家事的信。我妻子的兄弟来信说,只要我给她写一次信,她就会因为我和我们孩子的缘故,不兴讼离婚。我感到有责任这样做。其它理由不说,一想到要同西里尔分开我就受不了。我那漂亮、会疼人又招人疼的孩子,我所有朋友中的朋友、我一切伙伴中的伙伴,他那小小脑袋满头金发中的一根,对我来说都比,不用说从头到脚的你了,都比普天下的宝石[42a]还宝贵——确实一直都是这样的,只是等我明白时已太晚了。

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